13 Ways to Decrease Stress Caused by his Porn Addiction

October 16, 2021

When you feel overwhelmed or under pressure, you experience stress. Discovering your husband’s porn addiction is very overwhelming and stressful. You feel it physically and emotionally. Cycling through multiple discoveries and not engaging in your own individual recovery can lead to long-term or chronic stress.

Chronic stress has a negative effect on your health and wellbeing.  It can affect your sleep, your appetite, and your overall mood. You might experience headaches or other types of physical pain. It can also lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms like overdrinking to escape the chaos, overwhelm, and negative feelings. 

Which stress reduction techniques work for you?

Stress management and stress reduction techniques can help. Here are some techniques you can try:

  1. Use relaxation techniques like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery.
  2. Engage in physical activity like walking, running, or yoga.
  3. Practice mindfulness meditation.
  4. Listen to music or an uplifting podcast.
  5. Rest when you need it and practice good sleep hygiene.
  6. Create and engage regularly with your support team. (partner support groups, a therapist, and/or a coach like myself)
  7. Do things that you enjoy such as reading, volunteering, or visiting with friends.
  8. Laugh! Watch funny movies or read funny quotes.
  9. Journal your thoughts and feelings.
  10. Create a daily routine that eliminates decision fatigue and helps get the important things done each day…including those things that are focused on building your dream life.
  11. Implement boundaries that support you and the future you deserve. The boundaries guide how other people interact and treat you and they also guide your own decisions and activities.
  12. Do something that makes you feel good like getting a massage or a manicure.
  13. Focus on what you can control and choose to stay positive.

Create a practice that supports your wellbeing

You might be thinking, my stress level is too high for these common techniques to help. I get it. Your life has been turned upside down by his porn addiction. The stress that partners feel is intense and persistent. Your mind is consumed with trying to help him overcome his addiction while keeping yourself safe at the same time.

What I learned after many years of focusing my attention outward in response to his addiction, is that nothing I was doing helped ease my stress. I focused on changing my physical appearance and taking action to help him. It didn’t change how I felt. I was still stressed, afraid, and hypervigilant. Once I started to focus inward and take actions that made me feel good and aligned with my goals and what I wanted my future to look like, the stress began to decrease.

You have to focus on your own needs and detach from the situation to find the safety that you are seeking. Until you heal the betrayal, the goal is to manage the stress and not let it take control of your physical and mental wellbeing. Beginning a stress reduction practice now will serve you well long-term. Practice these techniques and give yourself the love and attention that you deserve. You will have less stress and be able to focus on the situation with a clearer mind. As your stress decreases, continuing the practice can help you avoid feeling stressed in the future.