As a partner of porn addict, you may feel like you don’t have anyone to turn to for support. Talking about the situation and knowing who to trust can be very difficult. But, finding support is an important part of recovery for partners. The right support system can help shed light on something that has created darkness in your life and can also help you begin to make sense of the betrayal.
How emotions hold you back from seeking support
The emotions that you might feel during discovery and as you work through the betrayal can hold you back from seeking support. The fact that you are married to a porn addict might cause shame. You might be embarrassed by the things your husband has done. Being vulnerable is hard, especially around such a sensitive topic which makes getting support hard. Many partners go through a period of time where they blame their self or think that there is something wrong with them. You might have thought some of those things yourself. Again, it’s hard to reach out for the support of others when you are concerned that they will judge you for his behavior and addiction. But, support is so important for your own healing and recovery.
Options to consider when seeking support
Getting support from someone who knows exactly what you are going through can be very helpful. I provide one on one coaching for partners because I get it. I’ve been there too and have a level of understanding that comes from my core. When I was working through my recovery, I always sought out therapists and groups led by women who had also been betrayed by their husband’s pornography addiction. I wanted work with someone who understood me from our very first interaction. The addict cannot be a source of support for you. Not only did they cause the betrayal, but they need to focus on their own recovery. Family and friends may not be the best source of support either. It’s not that they won’t want to support you but they just don’t have the skills to do it effectively.
Who can you turn to then?
You can look for partner support groups and connect with other woman who share a similar experience. Even though the relationship will be casual more than formal therapy, the support can be very helpful. Sometimes you just need to share what you are thinking and feeling with someone who understands or you may need a sounding board that won’t judge you. Who knows, you might ending making some very good friends too! There are also therapists who specialize in sex addiction, called CSATs. Again, they understand the trauma that you have experienced and are in a position to help you. Be careful with therapists who are not trained in sex addiction, sometimes they can unintentionally cause additional trauma or make you feel like this was somehow your fault. (Which its not!) If you are interested in one on one coaching with me, you can learn more here and even schedule a free consultation.
Closing thoughts
Seeking support is almost a necessity for partners. It is hard to make sense of your world after discovery and it’s hard to know who you can trust. Supportive people can help you heal faster and more completely and will help you move through your recovery journey.
*The information contained on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. In addition, blog posts may contain affiliate links which means that I may be compensated if you click and make a purchase.