Three Characteristics of a Healed Partner
February 13, 2022
Once you’ve recovered from the trauma and healed from the betrayal, it’s time to focus on living a life that serves you and that lights you up. Facing that future can be a little scary and exciting at the same time. You are still learning about yourself and growing into the new you – the healed partner who controls her own destiny.
Along your journey, you have developed new skills that will continue to be helpful in your new future. You have what it takes and you deserve to live a happy, balanced, and fulfilled life. Let’s take a look at three characteristics that you have within yourself and that you have strengthened throughout your healing journey. They will also help you move successfully into your future.
A healed partner has developed clarity
As you have navigated his porn addiction and its impact in your life, you have had to get clear on what it is that you want and need in your life. You’ve made the pivot from focusing on his compulsive porn use and began to focus on yourself. Making that pivot required self-reflection and a commitment to yourself. Your life no longer revolves around him and his choices.
Now, your life is focused on you with a clear view for how you want to live and feel going forward. Stay focused on those two things. What do you want your life to look like? How do you want to feel each and every day? Clarity in these two questions will help guide your decisions and help you create boundaries so you can live your best life.
A healed partner has regained self-confidence
Discovering his porn addiction, the lies and the betrayal shakes, if not shatters, a partner’s confidence. Endless questions about why you weren’t enough for him and unfair comparisons between you and the images that he sought out erode self-confidence. Trying to be what you think he wants instead of being true to yourself undermines your confidence too.
Healing is a time for rebuilding self-confidence. Realizing that he has a problem and that his obsession with porn doesn’t mean anything about you is the starting point. You are beautiful, inside and out, just the way you are. When you let go of self-blame and the negative self-talk that ran through your mind, you replaced it with self-confidence. Knowing that you deserve a good life and that you have your own back in this world further fuel your self-confidence. You can take bold action for the future!
A healed partner is courageous
No doubt this experience has been tough. You have faced fear and uncertainty that touched every aspect of your life. Deciding to embark on a journey to heal and taking the necessary actions requires courage. Even if you didn’t feel courageous initially, the courage developed over time.
When self-doubt crept in, you kept going. When you worried about the future of your relationship, you stayed strong and engaged in activities to support your healing. Fear and discomfort in the moment didn’t hold you back from doing what was best for you and that took courage.
Take a minute to reflect on your healing journey. Can you see the three characteristics of a healed partner inside you? Some of the characteristics might feel stronger than others right now. Clarity, confidence, and courage will continue to develop as you continue to heal and take consistent action that provides a safe and nurturing future for yourself.