Stop Competing With Pornography
July 04, 2023
It’s very common for partners of porn addicts to feel like they need to compete with pornography and the seemingly perfect bodies of porn stars. You have images of the women he looks at seared into your mind. When you compare your body to theirs, you feel like you don’t measure up.
Competing with porn is exhausting. It puts a magnifying glass on all of your flaws and leaves you feeling worthless. The comparison hurts you. The competition hurts you. It’s time to stop so you can begin to feel better.
I tried to compete with pornography
I know firsthand how hard this is. After my first discovery, I found myself constantly competing with porn and the images my husband obsessively sought out. I thought losing weight, having plastic surgery, being more adventurous in bed, and all the other crazy stuff I did would stop his porn use. It didn’t.
After many years, multiple discoveries, and focusing on my own recovery, I finally realized his porn addiction didn’t have anything to do with me. I took a long time to reach that acceptance. I realized he didn’t use porn because of who I am or what I look like. He used porn because of who he was.
This realization helped free me the trauma of betrayal and feeling like I was being rejected by my husband. It helped me hear my negative self-talk and put an end to it. Knowing his porn use was about him helped me stop feeling insecure. I was able to cope with what had happened and rebuild the emotional security that was lost with discovery.
If you feel bad about yourself because you don’t look like the women on the screen, it’s time to stop competing with pornography and start feeling better about yourself. This is a choice you can make. It won’t happen overnight and it will take practice. Every time you catch yourself playing the comparison game and trying to compete with images on the screen, remember the choices you made. You chose to stop. You chose to accept yourself. You chose to feel better.
Go to EmotionalHealingGuide.com for more help on your healing journey.