Partners of Porn Addicts: Let Go of the Betrayal

October 12, 2022

The betrayal you feel when you discover your significant other’s secret porn use is intense. It shakes you to the core. You expected him to have your best interests at heart and he didn’t. The openness and honesty that you thought your relationship was built on doesn’t exist. Everything you thought was real feels like a lie. Even though it’s hard, you have to let go of the betrayal. Holding onto it hurts you more. 

The negative emotions can be overwhelming and you might want to avoid them. Don’t. It’s okay to feel shock, sadness, and anger. It’s actually a good thing to feel the emotions so you can begin to process them and let go of the betrayal. 

Self-blame, insecurity, and feeling like you are not enough are normal responses after discovery. Work through these feelings. From one partner to another, I can tell you that you are not to blame. You are enough. Let go of the betrayal to see these truths for yourself. Rebuild emotional security so you can stand tall in these truths.

Consider this to help you let go of the betrayal

  1. You can trust yourself. Your intuition told you something was off. At the time, you might not have known it was a problem with pornography but you knew it was something. Look back and see that your intuition was right. You can trust it. 
  2. Separation can be helpful. Detach physically and emotionally to give yourself space. Process what has happened and what you know now. Engage in your own recovery and healing so you can let go of the betrayal. You have choices. Decide what is best for you going forward. You may be able to stay in the relationship. You may not.
  3. You are your main priority. Identify what you need and make sure your needs are met. Define what you want your life to look like and take action to create it. You deserve to be happy. Build a life that feels good and let go of anything that doesn’t align with that feeling.
let go of the betrayal

In Summary

Take this journey one day at a time. As you let go of the betrayal, see how it has empowered you. What did it teach you? How are you different now? How has it positioned you to embrace the fullness of life? Use your answers to guide you forward into a life filled with goodness and love.

Download your free ebook “Cultivate a Healing Mindset” here.