Letting Go of the Pain Caused by His Porn Addiction

May 31, 2022

Discovering that your significant other has a secret obsession with pornoraphy is painful. Letting go of the pain is a conscious decision. You have to decide to focus on the future and on your growth as an individual instead of painful memories related to his porn use. 

Letting go of the pain is important

Letting go of the pain allows you to enjoy all of the good things in your life today. You rebuild trust in yourself and allow space for positive emotions and experiences in your life. If you don’t let go, negative thoughts and emotions will keep you stuck. The emotional pain will continue to hurt you over and over again. When the emotional pain impacts your life, you feel powerless.

letting go of the pain

Affirmations about letting go

Affirmations are helpful when you are letting go of the past. They can be as straightforward as “I am letting go of the pain” or “I am letting go of the past, staying in the present, and focusing on my future”. Maybe you resonate more with one of these affirmations: “I am taking action to make sure my needs are met and to build a fantastic future” or “I am worthy of a great life and take courageous action everyday to create it”. Say these out loud and see how you feel. If you are looking for something a little different, try out some of your own affirmations and see which ones genuinely feel good. Repeat them throughout the day and any time you catch negative thoughts or emotions creeping back in.

Letting go of the pain through physical activity

Physically release the pain so you can fully let go. Your body holds on to emotional pain and physical activity can help release it. Engage in physical hobbies like gardening, doing yoga, or dancing. Put pen to paper and write a letter to your significant other about the pain he caused. You don’t have to give him the letter. Physically writing out your thoughts and feelings can help with letting go. Write a letter to your past self and help her let go of the pain. Physical activities or projects are a great way to actively release the pain and focus your attention on something that feels good.

 

partners of pornography addicts

Don’t wait on anyone else or any external circumstances to change before letting go of the pain. Every minute that you wait is a minute that you stay stuck in pain. You deserve to feel good right now and have the power to make it happen. Change your mindset. Find things that bring you comfort and joy and engage with them. Visualize what your life looks like after letting go of the pain. See clearly how much better you will feel and how much better your life will be. 

Replace the pain with peace and acceptance. The pain that you have experienced is real but you don’t have to keep it with you forever. Accept that what happened can’t be changed. Accept that you have the control to design a life that serves you and what you need today. Focus on what you want more of in your life and nurture them. You are different because of what you have gone through. The experience taught you things about yourself, about relationships, and about the world that can be helpful in the future.  Embrace the changes in you and accept that you are living from a new foundation of your true self. Letting go of the painful past makes room for you to live the life that serves who you are today. 

Reaching the point where you can let go takes time. Along the way, you need to focus on your own healing and make yourself a priority. Take your power back and decide to let go of the pain so you can move forward in life and be happy again.

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