How Does Porn Destroy a Marriage?
September 29, 2021
Porn is one of the most common things that can destroy a marriage. In divorce cases, the majority of the time…porn is cited as a contributing factor. Single handedly, my husband’s compulsive, secret, risky use of porn was the thing that led to my divorce. When your husband spends most of his time seeking out porn and masturbating to porn, he is not spending time with you. Porn is his priority…not you.
Secrets also destroy a marriage
The secrets and lies that surround his porn use can also destroy a marriage. Marriage needs to be built on trust. You should feel safe in your relationship and feel safe being vulnerable with each other. When porn addiction is present, trust is eroded and you feel the need to protect yourself from your husband.
When secret porn use is present in your relationship, you stop being a wife and you become a detective. In every conversation you are looking for lies and discrepancies. As you seek out safety, you search for things that will take that safety away. Where is his money going? Where is his time going? Why didn’t he do what he said he would do? This cadence will destroy a marriage.
Unrealistic expectations destroy a marriage
Unrealistic expectations fueled by porn can also destroy a marriage. What he watches everyday is not what happens in real life…it’s a movie! The sex is created for visual stimulation not the pleasure of the participants. In a porn film, the participants don’t have to do dishes, pay bills or put kids to bed. For him to think that your life can be like the film is unrealistic.
To wrap this post up
There are things other than porn that can destroy a marriage. Things like not putting each other first, poor communication, always needing to be right, taking each other for granted, and not having good boundaries with family and friends are some other things that can destroy a marriage. When porn addiction is present…these things happen too but they are magnified.
If you are struggling with a failing marriage and porn is part of the problem, you are not alone. I’ve been there. Schedule a free consultation with me and let’s start to make sense of your situation.