Have a Good Life NOW!

Maybe you don’t like the person you are becoming as you beg your husband to stop causing you so much emotional pain. You feel like you need to protect yourself from further pain. Maybe you’ve gone from being a fun and loving person to someone you don’t even recognize anymore. It’s common to think that once you lose the weight or once he stops using porn, you will be happy. Finally, you’ll be able to find the real you inside and begin to enjoy your life again. A good life, one that serves your best interests and gives you pleasure is closer than you think. What if you can find the real you and enjoy life again right now?

I believe this is the goal of a partner’s healing journey. Don’t wait for external circumstances to change. Know that you are worthy of peace and happiness today. In the body you have today, wherever you are in your journey post-discovery, and regardless of what he does or doesn’t do,  you deserve to have a good life now.

There isn’t any magical moment or achievement that will make things all better. You can still be in a relationship with an addict and realign with your self-worth. You can be disappointed that your husband kept a big secret from you and stop blaming yourself for his porn addiction. Find the value in the journey. What are you learning along the way? Yes, there are still really sad and challenging times along the journey. It’s reality. You don’t have to wait for the sadness to lift or the challenges to be resolved to seek fulfillment. Healing comes through discomfort not by avoiding it.

Revel in being you. Fully experience your life now – the good and the not-so-good. Value all that you have achieved so far and enjoy the journey as you see what unfolds for you.