Everything Changes After Discovery
December 22, 2021
It’s crazy to think about how much your life changes after you discover his pornography addiction. In a split second you go from being in a stable, committed relationship with your best friend and life partner to being thrown into feeling insecure, angry, and afraid. Your relationship isn’t what you thought it was and neither is he.
The drastic change, threat to reality, and emotional roller coaster create a level of personal struggle that you’ve probably never experienced before. As you work through the experience, you will move away from instability and uncertainty and move toward healing and recovery. Here are a few strategies that will help.
Process your feelings
Acknowledge that everything you have experienced related to his addiction has had an impact on you in some way. Notice your feelings. Don’t try to avoid them. Name whatever it is that you are feeling and pay attention to where you feel it in your body.
Anticipate and welcome the changes
As you continue to work through healing from the trauma you’ve experienced, you will be faced with changes. Your relationship will change. Maybe it will end or maybe not. Even if you stay together, the relationship will be different. You will change too. As you grow through this experience, you will become stronger and more confident. Your life will change and the real fun happens when you define your ideal life and then take action to create it.
The life of your dreams is possible
By defining what you want and need, creating boundaries and routines that serve you, and being deliberate about decisions that shape your life…you will create the life of your dreams. As you heal, it will become very clear that your life can’t be the way it was before. You are different now, stronger, in control and you deserve a better life.
Change can be hard but you can do hard things. Heck, you’ve been doing hard things for years. Through the difficult situations that you have faced, you’ve built resilience that will serve you well.
If you’d like help navigating the changes you face on this healing journey, I’d love to be your coach. You deserve happiness and are worthy of a fantastic future!