Create a Positive Mindset
January 21, 2022
As a partner who has discovered his porn addiction, you have faced a great deal of fear and uncertainty. Endless questions run through your mind about how you can help him and whether or not you should even try. It can be exhausting. Bouncing between strong emotions like anger, shock, and hopelessness can also be exhausting.
Focus on your mindset
You just want life to feel normal again and you want to feel better physically and emotionally. Most of the time things feel so far out of control that it’s hard to know what to do next. I know you would do anything that you could to create a positive outcome in this scary situation.
By focusing on your mindset, you can control your thoughts and how you respond to the situation and specific circumstances. With a positive mindset, you can make sure that your needs are met regardless of his behaviors. As you heal from the shock and betrayal, your mindset will be a critical factor.
6 steps to create a positive mindset
1. Focus on the present – not on the past or on the future
2. Tap into a personal knowing that even though things may be challenging, you are becoming stronger and you will be okay
3. Get support from other partners, coaches, and/or therapists
4. Express gratitude for all of the good in your life
5. Acknowledge the way you feel and engage in things that lift you up
6. Focus on what you can control and let go of everything else
You’ve got this
I know you have been through a lot and it has taken a toll on you mentally. When your husband would sacrifice just about anything for an opportunity to engage with porn, it can almost break you. Your self confidence plummets. You question everything about yourself and everything that you do. You wonder if it might even be your fault.
Decide today that you are going to create a positive mindset. Don’t stay in a mental space that isn’t helping you heal.
You are worthy!
You are loveable!
You can heal from this betrayal!
You are exactly who you are meant to be and you are perfect!