1. Create and maintain routines

Routines help shape your day, minimize stress, and build healthy habits. Consider developing morning routines to start your day off on a positive track. Meal planning ahead of time can create eating routines that support healthy eating habits and minimize decision fatigue around what to eat when you are hungry. An evening routine can help you wind down from the day and promote good sleep.

My morning routine is pretty much the same every day. I have a cup of coffee, plan out my day hour by hour, write down three things that I am grateful for, listen to a short motivational podcast, and walk my dog. After I take my daughter to school, I workout, shower, and then jump into the day. I also do meal planning a week ahead and have an evening routine. I think the stucture and knowing what to expect at specific times during the day helped my wellbeing after betrayal when my mind was a mess.

2. Plan time to rest

It might sound crazy, but if you don’t actually plan time to rest it probably won’t happen. During recovery, you not only have to focus on healing but you also have to get all of the regular to-dos done. It is easy to just keep going and going. But, you need rest time too. Define a time during the day when you have some peace and quiet and can engage in activities that recharge your energy. Reading, journaling, yoga, coloring, meditating, and taking a nap are all ways to recharge.

I schedule time to read and meditate every day. If it is on my calendar, it is almost a guarantee that it will get done. If I have it on my to-do list but not scheduled, other things take up all of my time and I don’t get to read or meditate.

3. Move Your Body

Physical body movement has so many positive benefits from promoting physical health to stress reduction to clearing trauma that is being held by the body. Physical activity releases endorphins – the feel good hormones in the body. You can engage in formal activity like yoga or an aerobic workout. A gentle walk, playful dance, or gardening are other great options. What type of physical activity do you enjoy?

I reach my step goal by walking on the treadmill and walking my dog each day. Most days, I also do a workout video. The phsyical activity helps me achieve physical and emotional wellbeing.

4. Maintain boundaries

Partners of porn addicts are often encouraged to create boundaries and outline expectations for the relationship. Boundaries will minimize stress, show others how to interact with you and lead you back to personal integrity within yourself. Boundaries can serve as rules or guides for behavior that keep you safe. They can also help with decision-making.

I like to use a filter of simple and pleasureable when I make decisions. At this point in my life, only people, activities, and things that make my life simple and pleasureable meet the cut. If something doesn’t serve you or the life you want to live, it’s okay to say no to it.

5. Engage in activities that fill your cup

In order to heal, be able to care for yourself and others, and participate fully in your life, you have to pour your energy from a full cup. Taking just a few minutes each day to calm your mind, engage in a self-care activity, or simply enjoy some fresh air will re-energize you. Then, you can face life’s demands and opportunities from a good place.

I build my day around things that fill my cup: predictable routines, exercise, an organized environment, learning something new, watching television shows that I enjoy, reading, and getting a good night’s sleep. Think about what energizes you and allows you to bring your best self forward and make them part of your day.

Wellbeing after betrayal

Moving toward a solid sense of wellbeing allows you to take the steps that will heal your soul. You deserve to build and enjoy the life of your dreams. You need the emotional capacity to stay present through the journey and to be present in the life that you are building. The 5 steps outlined above can help you get started.